


Old Man

by Sir_Thopas



Category: Stargate - All Series, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Ancient Devices, Angst, Emotional Baggage, Kid Fic, M/M, On-Again/Off-Again Relationship, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-04-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 03:29:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6357145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sir_Thopas/pseuds/Sir_Thopas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John never had any intention of becoming a father. He was too much like his old man and he never wanted anybody else to go through what he did. But the Pegasus Galaxy is full of surprises and now he has a five year old daughter with Rodney McKay, a man he barely knows and isn't sure if he even likes all that much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I love kidfic, but it's almost always fluffy. I rarely get to read the more serious stuff, the sort of true to life events where the parents mess up and struggle just as much as the kids do. Not even the most well-adjusted people make for perfect parents and John and Rodney are anything but well-adjusted. John can be emotionally distant and Rodney is just of a bundle of neuroses; they would try, God knows they would, but it would be a struggle for them. Especially if they weren't even in love yet before having the kid.

Their flashlights roved over the crumbled remains of a great and ancient civilization. Beneath the vines and dirt and decay, there lay untold secrets. McKay ran his fingers along the broken lights that studded the walls. It was Ancient originally, of course, but what fascinated McKay were the crude adjustments and repairs that obscured much of the original architecture. John wasn't an archaeologist -- and he could almost hear McKay's arrogant laugh at the thought of anyone bothering with a _social_ science, not that McKay would consider it a science at all -- but he didn't need to be one to realize that people had moved into this distant outpost long after the Ancients had departed and managed to learn enough about their technology to replicate it. It wasn't perfect, but this sort of advancement was unheard of in the Pegasus Galaxy. If he had to guess, John would have put the Keratons on the same technical level as Earth, if not higher. "This is amazing. I don't understand why anyone would abandon this place," McKay said.

Teyla stood next to him as she looked about, her expression far more cautious compared to the scientist's open curiosity. "According to the legends of my people, several planets banded together to wage war against the Keratons for crimes so obscene they were struck from all records."

"What could they have possibly done that was so bad?" Ford asked.

"We don't know, Lieutenant," John spoke, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "She just said it was struck from all records."

Ford rolled his eyes and ignored him, keeping his attention on Teyla. "What happened to the Keratons?"

"They were losing the war and their population was rapidly dwindling. Eventually, they were culled by the Wraith. There were few survivors and their city was abandoned. The Athosians avoid this place. We believe it is cursed."

"Well, that's stupid," McKay announced. Before John could comment on the man's lack of social graces, McKay took a sudden turn into a dark room with a frantic wave of his hand. "Major, get in here. Look at this."

The three of them followed McKay into the room and saw the twisted remains of some sort of machine that spanned across one entire wall. There was a raised, circular platform in the middle of the room; what it was for, John couldn't even begin to guess. McKay, of course, was elbow-deep in the console, fiddling over the crystals and exposed wiring. "What did they do to this thing?" He heard him mutter under his breath.

"Should you be messing with that?" John asked. "We don't want another incident like the one that happened with you and the personal shield."

"You mean when I saved everyone from an evil cloud?"

"I was actually referring to when you spent an entire day convinced you were going to starve to death, but sure. We'll go with that."

"Hmph. So much for gratitude. From what it says here, this machine seems to have something to do with weapons." Words were inscribed along the console and while McKay could read Ancient, more or less, he wasn't an expert. It was a millennia-dead language, after all, and academia could only take someone so far. "No, that's not right. It's saying something about imparting military expertise. And over here it talks about imparting _medical_ expertise, and so on. It sounds like this is a repository of Ancient knowledge, but it looks nothing like a computer or anything else you would use to store information." McKay looked up to glare at the platform. "Maybe this part generates a hologram of some kind?"

"Military expertise, huh?" John asked. He knew he shouldn't encourage McKay, but with an advantage like that... "Teyla, Ford, continue searching the perimeter, I'll help McKay." The other two nodded and left, their expressions both tight and wary. John ignored them as he stepped up to the machine. "Is this where you turn it on?" He waved his hand in front of a panel, watching it light up but only for a second. Then it went dark again. "It seems to be out of power."

"No, I don't think that's it. This panel over here is identical to the one you're standing in front of. Two people are suppose to operate it. We need to activate it at the same time." McKay's hand hovered above his own panel, his fingers wiggling like he still couldn't believe that he now had the ATA gene, and he shot John a crooked grin. He looked like a kid in a candy store and damn if John didn't feel that same bubble of excitement.

John placed his hand down again and the entire machine lit up like a parade. A terrible screeching filled the room, so loud that it made his bones vibrate and teeth ache. Dark, hazy smoke billowed up from the machine. "Shit!" He should have never listened to McKay. The whole thing was going to explode. Without thinking, John grabbed hold of the back of McKay's BDU and hauled him from the room, throwing him down and shielding his body with his own. He braced himself for the heat and force that was sure to come... any second now...

"Major, get off me," McKay sniped.

John pulled himself up, trying to play it off cool and only a little embarrassed. Despite the scientist's sneer, McKay remained firmly behind John as the major stood up and peeked cautiously inside the room. The metallic shrieking had stopped and most of the smoke had dissipated. John could see that the machine was intact, though dark and inert. Something caught the corner of his eye-- a shadow, a movement, in the haze and John drew his P90. "What--?" McKay started to ask, but John jerked his hand, signaling him to shut up. He stepped inside, ready to fire, and saw--

A child. A naked child, her head shorn and sitting alone on the platform. "Oh my God," John breathed and lowered his weapon, reaching the little girl in three long strides. "What's your name?" He asked as he shucked off his vest to get to his jacket. He unzipped it and threw it around her shoulders, helping her into the sleeves and zipping it up. It fell past her knees. "Where did you come from?"

She said nothing, just stared up at him with big blue eyes, her bottom lip quivering. John turned to glare at McKay, who was racing around the machine, trying to figure out what had happened. "I thought this place was deserted!"

"It _is_ deserted!" McKay insisted. "And it's not like she was hiding in here before we activated the machine. Even if there was some place in here for her _to_ hide, the life signs detector would have notified us. Maybe... maybe she was somehow inside the machine and we released her, like that energy mist? Or--" McKay cut himself off and the color drained from his face.

"Or _what_ , McKay?" John practically growled.

"Or we made her."

For a few minutes, all they could do was stare at each other. Then McKay was reaching for his communicator. "We need Teyla. Maybe she'll know what to do."

John rolled his eyes. He found he did that a lot in McKay's presence. "Nice. Real nice. No day is complete without reinforcing gender stereotypes."

"Shut it, Major. Out of the four of us here, who would _you_ entrust with a child?"

Well, when he put it like that... "I'll contact Teyla."

* * *

Teyla peered all around her, trying to make sense of what she was seeing. It was some kind of meeting place. Benches surrounded them, enclosing a small stage. It could be anything from a temple, to a courthouse, to a theater. She supposed she would never know. Dust covered everything and she could see the remains of a skeleton lying scattered across the floor, its bones long picked clean. "Hey," Ford whispered and pointed up towards the ceiling. "Look at this mosaic. Can you believe this?"

Teyla followed his gaze and gasped at what she saw. A beautifully crafted scene made from colored glass showed a human woman in a richly embroidered dress with a crown sitting upon her long, flowing hair, standing side by side next to a Wraith Hive Queen. Their hands were clasped together and the gesture spoke of... friendship. It didn't make any sense. The Wraith had no friends. They were monsters, predators. Why would a Wraith cultivate a friendship with a human? The light from her flashlight followed the mosaic, trying to find answers to this seemingly impossible story.

She followed the line of delicate glass as it wound its way across the room, staring at the strange and lovely patterns it made, until the mosaic came to an end and Teyla's hands shook with anger as she stared up at the figures. She knew now why the other planets had attacked the Keratons. This new scene showed the same human woman offering up a baby to the Wraith Queen. All around her were children, chained and imprisoned inside baskets, their little arms reaching up in their helplessness, ready to be carted off by the Wraith. These... _people_ had farmed their own children. Beside her, Ford sucked in a deep breath. "How... how could they do that? That's just... And... why didn't they die out sooner? How could they sustain a population? It doesn't make any sense."

" _Sheppard to Teyla._ "

Teyla touched her communicator. "This is Teyla."

" _Fall back to our position immediately._ "

Her heart fluttered with worry. "Has something happened?"

" _It's... complicated. It would be better if you saw this for yourself._ "

"Understood. We are on our way."

She shared a glance with Ford and the two hurried to where they had left Sheppard and McKay. As they rounded the corner, an acrid aroma filled her nostrils, coating the back of her throat in an ashy taste. Had there been a fire? She quickened her pace, fearing the worst, only to come to a dead stop when she entered the room and saw what was in Sheppard's arms. A little girl -- Teyla would not put her over the age of five -- rested on his hip. She was bald, naked under Sheppard's jacket, and shaking in his arms. Sheppard himself looked dazed, like a man just told he was about to become a father. "What happened?" She asked.

"I don't know. Ask McKay." As soon as Teyla opened her arms, the major quickly pushed the girl into them, unable to look at her any longer. McKay was examining the machine with a feverish intensity, reading and rereading the words written on the console. He looked unnaturally pale, his hands jittery, and Teyla was worried he was going to faint.

"Did the child come from this thing?" Teyla asked.

"Um," McKay rubbed his forehead. "I think this machine was used to make soldiers. Constant warfare with the Wraith must have taken its toll on their population. The Ancients used this to create force-grown clones, downloading all pertinent information they needed to fight the Wraith into them. But these Keratons altered it somehow, used it to create children instead of adults. To combat widespread infertility, perhaps?"

Teyla felt as though an icy hand had reached inside her chest and squeezed. "That's how they did it," Ford breathed before focusing back on Sheppard. "They didn't raise the children. We found murals, mosaics showing their history. They fed these kids to the Wraith. A constant, never ending food supply."

McKay turned to look at him, horror etched in every line on his face. " _What_? Why... why _children_?"

"Easier to control, probably. An adult soldier is going to put up a fight."

Sheppard's jaw tightened and Teyla could see the muscle in his cheek twitch. "Let's head back to Atlantis."

* * *

John was sprawled across his bed and staring blankly at the ceiling. He should start preparing his report. Dr. Weir would be calling him in for a meeting just as soon as McKay and Dr. Beckett had finished their examination of the girl. He told himself he could have five more minutes and then he would definitely get up.

John continued to lay there.

There was a knock at his door. He thought about opening it, but in the end he didn't move. If it was important they would be contacting him on his headset.

The knocking persisted, however, and Sheppard heard a woman's muffled voice on the other side. "Major Sheppard, it's Teyla. I wish to speak with you."

With a sigh, John rolled himself into a sitting position, arranging his limbs into an artfully relaxed pose before thinking the door open. Teyla's eyes swept over the room and him, taking in his loose, lazy slouch and easy-going smirk. "We haven't had a chance to talk yet. I wanted to see how you were feeling."

This was exactly what John had wanted to avoid. Maybe he could come up with some excuse and make a dash for it. "I'm fine."

The expression on Teyla's face made it clear that she didn't believe a word he said. "That child could be your daughter."

John grimaced. "She might -- _might_ and we don't even know yet if it's true -- share my DNA, but that doesn't make me her father. It's not like McKay and I conceived her after a night of passion." And John didn't know whether to laugh or gag at _that_ mental image.

"It is still your responsibility," Teyla said. She looked mightily unimpressed with him. "You and Dr. McKay chose to activate that machine knowing that there may be consequences and now you must face those consequences, much the same as if she had been created in the natural way."

John finally dropped the relaxed pose as he leaned forward, scrubbing his face. He could feel his muscles tightening with tension and age-old anger as thoughts of a cold father and a cold wife welled up inside him. "You don't understand. It's not about me, it's about her. I tried the whole family-thing before. It didn't work out. I'm not exactly father material. No child deserves having me raise them."

"But you are wonderful with Jinto and the other children."

"Yeah, but I'm not their father. I'm the guy who shows up to play tag for a couple of hours, maybe tell them a story. I'm better suited to being the cool uncle who only visits every now and then." John took a deep breath and steeled himself. It was good that Teyla came. There was something he needed to ask her. "Speaking of the Athosians, is there anyone among your people who would be willing to adopt the girl? She deserves a warm, stable home and not--" _Me_ , is what John wanted to say, but he couldn't bring himself to finish that sentence.

Teyla looked at him and not for the first time John wondered if her Wraith-sensing abilities gave her the power to read minds. "Yes, I know several people who would love her and raise her as their own. But shouldn't we have this conversation with Dr. McKay? The girl is as much his daughter as yours."

"That's not yet been verified," John stated automatically. "And besides, do you really think McKay wants to be a parent? I don't even know how he's taken care of himself all these years."

Teyla opened her mouth to reply, but whatever she was about to say was interrupted by Dr. Weir's voice coming through his headset that John had left lying on his desk. " _Major Sheppard, this is Dr. Weir. I need to see you in my office._ "

Grateful for an excuse to leave, John quickly picked up the headset and made his way out, fastening it on. "I'm on my way."

When he reached Dr. Weir's office, McKay and Dr. Beckett were already waiting. The doctor was grinning from ear to ear. "Congratulations on your new bundle of joy," he said as John took his seat, before breaking into a fit of giggles.

McKay groaned. "You already used that line on me."

"And it's still funny," Dr. Beckett insisted.

John's heart was beating so fast he thought the whole room could hear it. "So, she's definitely both of our..." He trailed off and gestured helplessly between himself and McKay.

"Definitely shares both of our DNA," McKay supplied and John was grateful that he managed to avoid the dreaded "C" word.

"Right."

Dr. Weir gave him a sympathetic smile from where she sat at her desk before turning her attention back to Dr. Beckett. "But she's healthy?"

"Aye. She is a perfectly normal little girl."

"There also appears to be nothing wrong with Alberta mentally," McKay broke in. "I was worried the Keratons had done more than just mess with the aging process when I couldn't get her to talk at first, but it seems Alberta can speak just fine... just only in Ancient."

"Wait..." John shot McKay an incredulous glare. "Alberta? Her name is _Alberta_?"

"What? I named her after Albert Einstein. It's an honor."

"See, this is why I should be the only one who gets to name things."

"Gentlemen!" Dr. Weir interrupted. "Let's get back to the task at hand, namely: what the hell are we going to do with her? The Athosian children are bad enough, but at least they have parents to take care of them."

"I've spoken with Teyla," John answered quickly. "She knows some people who would be willing to adopt her."

McKay sat up in his seat. "Wait, no one told me about this. We can't do that."

John could feel his eyebrows shoot up into his hairline. "Really? Wow, Rodney, I never pictured you as the fatherly type."

"I've thought about reproducing, to pass on my genius if nothing else, but it's not as though I want to take her to a baseball game or anything." McKay shrugged. "Other than the fact that it's a stupid American sport, that is. But Alberta was created to be a soldier. Her body may be that of a five year old girl, but we don't know what's locked away inside her mind."

Anger rushed through John at his words. "She's not a science experiment, McKay!" He couldn't believe McKay would even-- no, he could definitely believe that McKay would use the girl to further his own research. Just when he thought there might be something more to McKay than just the arrogant, cowardly scientist, he was proven wrong. Sometimes when McKay flashed him that smug, crooked grin of his, John just wanted to punch his teeth in.

"Look," McKay pressed on. "She may be our only of hope of defending ourselves against the Wraith. We need to know what she knows. We can't just give her to the Athosians to be raised like a normal kid, because she's _not_ a normal kid. We don't know what her programming is. She might even be dangerous."

John stood from his chair to lean over McKay. "If you think I'm going to let you poke her brain until--"

McKay pushed himself back, a sneer on his face. "Oh, settle down, Major, I'm not going to dissect her. I'm proposing that Heightmeyer, a few of our linguists, and, of course, myself work with her."

"She deserves to have a regular life."

"Oh? And who's going to give her this normal life? The Athosians? Barely scraping by, living in constant fear and moving from place to place until she finally gets culled by the Wraith? Are _you_ going to give her this normal life, Major?" McKay stood up to face John. "I have a say in this, and not only as Atlantis's CSO. I have the same parental rights as you do."

"That is _enough_ ," Dr. Weir hissed. "We cannot afford to have our military commander and chief science officer get into a custody dispute. Now, as the leader of this expedition, I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree with Rodney on this. We are not in a position to ignore possibly life-saving information just because it happens to come in the form of a little girl." Before McKay could look too smug, however, Dr. Weir plowed on. "But there will be conditions. She is a child, she is a citizen of Earth, and she will be treated accordingly."

"Yes," McKay rolled his eyes. "I am aware of the fact that Alberta is not one of Carson's lab rats."

"Good. Well, gentlemen, I believe this meeting is over." John went to leave the others when Dr. Weir's voice stopped. "Just a moment, Major Sheppard."

His expression was cool as he slid back into his chair and he regarded her silently. "I know you're unhappy with me right now," Dr. Weir began. "But I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't think it was necessary." She looked at him, her eyes piercing the armor he always wore, much like Teyla had done earlier. "How are you holding up? You and Rodney just made a love child together."

"Oh, God," John groaned. "Could you please not say that ever again?"

Dr. Weir laughed and for a moment she looked like she didn't have the fate of Atlantis resting on her shoulders. But she sobered quickly. "In all seriousness, have you gone to see the child yet?"

"Does it matter? DNA aside, she doesn't know who I am."

"It matters to _you_ whether you'll admit it or not." Her expression twisted into a smirk, the kind you only got when you came up with a really good idea. "I think you should be the one to oversee Rodney and his team."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. You care about her health and happiness."

John shook his head. "I don't know if that's such a good idea."

"Then consider it an order." She flashed him another smile. "And for what it's worth, I think you would make a great father."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set during Season 1, Episode 5: "Suspicion"
> 
> And now everyone is bringing in their daddy issues and dropping them on John's lap.

Rodney barely paid any attention when Carson slid into the seat across from him. His eyes remained riveted to his electronic pad as he shuffled that morning's breakfast into his mouth. "Allie is doing wonderfully in her lessons," Carson announced cheerfully as he poured a small, precious amount of salt onto his food. As their supplies dwindled, salt, hot sauce, and other spices were becoming treasured commodities and traded like money. "Her English is improving rapidly and she has a vocabulary far beyond that of her age group."

"Well, of course _Alberta_ is advanced. I contributed to half of her DNA, after all." Rodney detested the nickname Sheppard had given her, especially now that everyone in Atlantis had adopted it, including Alberta herself. Rodney swore the man only did it just to spite him. He heard Carson chuckle but didn't bother to look up from his work.

He was completely absorbed in the task until he heard a very quiet voice whisper "Rodney" somewhere near his elbow. Alberta stood next to him, her chin resting on the edge of the table and looking balefully up at him. She had already changed so much in the few weeks she had been with them. Teyla had gotten her a few knitted dresses and sweaters from the Athosians and her hair was starting to grow in a little. Alberta's once bald head was now covered in black fuzz. She'd been scratching at it non-stop; Rodney was tempted to put a cone around her neck, anything to get her to stop.

"Why are you here? Isn't this your designated play-time or something?" Rodney demanded.

She didn't answer. Instead, she pulled out a book and flipped to a page somewhere in the middle. "What word?" She asked as she pointed insistently at the page.

Rodney shrugged and turned away. "I'm sorry, I don't understand the question."

Alberta turned her head to look Carson dead in the eye and, after sucking in a deep breath, let loose a long, bone-weary sigh. It lasted several seconds. She was surprisingly sarcastic for a five year old who couldn't speak English two weeks ago. Rodney decided that was probably Sheppard's fault. Alberta pointed to the word again and repeated, "What is this word?"

"Much better," said Rodney and he took the book. "Let's see. This word is 'lofty.' It means 'high.' What are you reading anyway?" He flipped the cover to see Sheppard's dog-eared copy of _War and Peace_. "Great. This won't give her nightmares, no, of course not."

Carson shrugged sheepishly. "We needed something to teach her to read. We had to make do. Besides, we're just using it as a way for her to recognize the words when she sees them. I doubt she actually understands what she's reading. Advanced or not, it's still probably beyond her at this point."

"Tell that to my father. He read _Moby-Dick_ to me when I was about her age. I still have dreams about being eaten by a whale."

Carson laughed. "You're joking! Did your father seriously read _Moby-Dick_ to you when you were five? He certainly had some high expectations."

"Lofty!" Alberta crowed, looking very pleased with herself.

"That's right!" Carson praised.

"Uh, I was six, actually. But, yes, he had very lofty expectations." Rodney turned back to his pad figuring that was that and Alberta would go back to her book. He only managed to read a few sentences of Zelenka's report when a tiny finger began to poke him insistently. Rodney closed his eyes for a few seconds and breathed deeply as his irritation mounted. "What is it now?"

"Is that mashed potatoes?"

Rodney looked down at the lumpy green stuff on his plate. "No, this is... I have no idea what this is. I don't want to know."

"Can I have it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it's mine and you already had breakfast anyway."

Alberta stuck out her bottom lip and her blue eyes shimmered with unshed tears. He could hear Carson _awwing_ over her theatrics. Rodney was starting to re-think allowing Alberta to live in Carson's quarters. He was clearly unequipped to deal with manipulative brats.

Realizing that she was getting nowhere with Rodney, Alberta frowned and moved over to his other side to sit down. She placed her book on the table and made a big show of turning the pages. Rodney rolled his eyes and returned his focus to his pad. He was able to get through almost an entire paragraph when a flash of movement caught his eye. Alberta dipped her sticky fingers into his green mashed potatoes and stuck them quickly into her mouth. "I can't believe you just did that! I have no idea where your hands have been! You touch everything!"

Alberta didn't seem to be listening however. Her face scrunched up at the taste and she quickly leaned over to spit the food out back onto Rodney's tray with completely unnecessary gagging noises. "That's just great. Carson, I leave the science spawn in your hands. I need to get ready for my mission." With that, Rodney picked up his tray and dumped it with the others before striding out of the mess hall.

* * *

John practically shoved McKay forward as they ran towards the gate, he could feel the heat and flash of the Wraiths' stunners as their energy bolts flew past them. They needed to move and _McKay wasn't fast enough_. John turned around to fire off a few shots at the Wraith, giving McKay enough time to make a dash for it before taking off himself.

He stepped through, his eyes rapidly adjusting to the bright lights of Atlantis's command center. John immediately looked behind him to make sure the gate disengaged, but the energy bolts continued to rain past. "Raise the shield!" Dr. Weir screamed. John didn't see it when it happened, but he could hear the sparks exploding as they hit their target, cracking like lightning. He whipped his head around and everything seemed to slow down as he watched Rodney fall to the floor, lifeless.

John threw himself down on his knees and scrambled towards McKay. _Maybe he just fainted_ , he thought and it was such a strange, stupid hope -- he had been hit in the face with a _Wraith stunner_ for God's sake -- but he couldn't help but remember the last time he had seen McKay so still and how he thought for sure that this was it, that McKay was dead, only to have the scientist open his eyes and look up at him from the floor of the command center. John's hand was shaking as he reached out to search for a pulse even though it felt like his own heart was going to explode, but there it was. There it was. "I got a pulse."

He didn't move his fingers. He kept them there until the medical team arrived. 

It was hours before he was allowed in the infirmary. John stood next to McKay's bed, the fear and panic from before was mostly gone but still the anxiety churned in his stomach. Dr. Beckett had assured him McKay would be fine, temporary paralysis aside, but he wished the scientist would just hurry and wake up already so John could see it for himself. Allie swung her feet from where she sat on a stool by McKay's head, doodling on her own knee with a black-tipped Sharpie.

John had done what Dr. Weir asked. He supervised the science staff when they interviewed her, teaching her English and giving her "activities" to do like advanced equations or showing her pictures of Ancient technology and asking her what she thought they were used for. He only allowed these sessions to go on for an hour or two and then he insisted to she be allowed to color or eat or whatever else she wanted for the rest of the day. Sometimes John would take her to play a game for a little while before he had to get back to work, but usually he left her in the care of Teyla or Ford or Dr. Beckett. He'd seen the way she interacted with McKay-- she would cling to him, rattle his ear off, demanding that he pay attention to her. But with John she was so shy. He didn't know what to do with her half the time.

Something loosened inside his chest when he saw McKay's eyes flutter open. Almost immediately Dr. Beckett was beside his elbow and John wondered at his ability to just _know_ when a patient needed him. "How you feeling?" John asked as McKay stared blankly at the ceiling.

A strange noise came out of McKay's barely moving mouth. "Likae a thitua…I can' alk."

Well, that was a little alarming. Dr. Beckett had warned him about the paralysis, but it hadn't occurred to John that McKay wouldn't even be able to talk. McKay talking was a universal constant. A fixed numerical value that scientists could write equations based on. "You can't talk either."

"I ow aths wat I sed."

Allie leaned forward in her stool until she was inches from McKay's ear. "You died." She whispered.

"Whur?!"

Dr. Beckett repressed a smile. "You didn't die. Your body experienced a full overload to its sensory and motor nervous system."

McKay's eyes moved in confusion, not quite focusing on anything. "Ah quwat?"

"You took one of those Wraith stunners right to the face," John supplied helpfully.

Dr. Beckett nodded, glancing at John. "It's really quite fascinating actually. The Wraith weapon impedes a fire of neurons that enables the necessary--"

"OHHHHAAA??"

"The paralysis is only temporary," Dr. Beckett spoke loudly and slowly to McKay. "Don't worry Rodney. You'll be up and about in no time." He turned his head back to John and said, quieter so McKay wouldn't hear, "Bloody good thing that Wraith weapon is only designed to incapacitate. Or he really would have died."

McKay's eyes darted to Dr. Beckett, trying to glare at him from the corner of his eye. Which was difficult to do since he had no control over his facial muscles. "Wha?"

John could hear the door open behind him and Dr. Weir's voice called out, "Major? Can I see you for a second?"

Dr. Beckett patted his shoulder as he left to continue on his rounds and John turned to greet Dr. Weir. He could hear McKay calling out as he left the infirmary and Allie's voice announcing "I have markers!" John was sure Allie would keep McKay occupied until he was well enough to escape her clutches.

"He's going to be fine," John assured as he and Dr. Weir walked through the hall side by side, the rest of his anxiety bleeding out now that McKay was awake. He could almost pretend he had never felt scared at all.

* * *

John stared up at the bright blue sky high above his head. Thinking back now, it should have been obvious that the roof to the jumper bay could open. There were scientists crawling all over the area, examining the jumpers in their attempt to discover the extent of their capabilities, but he didn't pay them any attention, his gaze remaining fixed on the sky above, until McKay came around to stand beside him, a laptop opened and tucked into the crook of his arm. A couple of black streaks from Allie's marker still decorated the scientist's cheek, but he had managed scrub most of it off. Most of it. "So, found any more surprises?" John asked.

"It's all trial and error, we're still—DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH THAT!"

John nearly jumped out of his skin when McKay turned sharply on his heel and pointed his finger at Allie, whose hand was inches away from Zelenka's abandoned laptop that he had left lying on the ground. For a moment, the two stared each other down in a silent contest of wills, Allie's hand still hovering above the keyboard. She seemed to be debating whether or not to touch it anyway and face McKay's wrath. But in the end she straightened up and sauntered away with a grin on her face, like she found the whole exchange amusing. Well, to be fair, McKay _was_ pretty amusing.

"Wow, McKay, you're already starting to develop that parental sixth sense."

"Please, I had that long before Alberta came along. My science staff is comprised of nothing but children and they'd all be dead now if it wasn't for me."

"Hey!" One of the scientists interjected.

McKay was as quick to turn on him as he had with Allie. "Oh, shut up, Kavanaugh, you literal toddler!"

"Is it safe for her to wander around in here?" John asked as he kept his eye on the girl, watching as she jumped around the bay, playing some imaginary game only she knew.

"About as safe as anywhere else. We're not doing anything too dangerous, just going through the jumpers' subroutines. Halling would usually be watching her about now, but, you know, with what's been going on..." McKay trailed off awkwardly.

John was quick to steer the topic away from the Athosians. "You were the one who wanted to keep her, McKay," he said with a smirk. "Is she too much for you to handle?"

"When I proposed the project, it didn't occur to me that _I_ would be the one arranging where she slept, getting a babysitter, making sure she ate." John huffed out a humorless laugh at McKay's whining. He still thought of her as a _project_. God, John could strangle him sometimes. "Seriously, who thought it was good idea to put me in charge of a child? Because they should be fired. I thought that I would just be interpreting the data Heightmeyer pulled from her, or maybe overseeing her education. You know, like my father. Just swooping in to make sure she isn't a complete idiot before going back to my actual work."

John stared at McKay, wondering if the man even realized what he just said. He had never heard McKay talk about his family before. From that brief bit about his father, John could see why. McKay wasn't paying any attention to him, however, his eyes remained fix on his computer. "Finally, the simulations are done." He turned away from John and started to head back towards his lab.

"I've scheduled a flight to survey the planet," John called to his retreating back.

McKay didn't bother to turn around, just waved his free hand in John's general direction with a "Sure, Major." Allie stopped her game when she noticed McKay leaving and quickly ran to his side, looking up at him like he had hung the moon. McKay glanced furtively down at her and, for a second, John could see the terror in his face before the man turned back to his computer without another look.

Allie hadn't so much as said hello to John, but she'd follow McKay to the end of the world.

* * *

"Sir!"

John turned to see Ford rushing towards him, a brown paper in one hand and a big smile on his face. "Ford."

"Heard they got the sunroof open on the jumper bay."

"I figure that's what the door on the roof was for."

John didn't know how it was possible but Ford's smile grew bigger. "Anyone else call shotgun?"

"Just gonna drive around the planet, check it out." He tried to say it nonchalantly, but even he couldn't keep the amusement out of his voice.

Ford shrugged and looked down at his feet, his expression turning into an exaggerated pout. He looked like Allie whenever she was trying to wheedle Carson into getting her own way. "Oh, you're just checking out the planet? Oh, never mind then, that's cool. I mean, I've got better things to do then cruise around the planet in a spaceship."

The corners of John's mouth threatened to twitch into a smile. "You're like a kid, you know that?" He said.

Instantly, Ford's sulk bloomed into a wide grin. "Yes, sir. I'll go get Allie."

"Wait, I never said--"

"Just checking out the planet, right? Nothing dangerous about that. Besides--" Ford held up the brown paper bag. "I already packed three sandwiches."

"It's not a good idea," John insisted.

Ford dropped his arm and sighed. "Sir, forgive me if I'm overstepping my bounds here, but... I think she needs you in her life. Really, actively involved, and not just showing up for the occasional playdate. I mean, does she even know who you are? That you’re her--"

John held up his hand to stop him. "I am _not_ her father. We share DNA, that's all."

"Yeah, I used to hear that a lot as a kid too," Ford muttered before looking John dead in the eye. "Take it from me, sir. I know you're worried about messing her up but at least you can say you tried. Not being there at all, though? That _will_ eventually take a toll."

John sighed. He knew he was going to regret this.

The first thing Allie did upon entering the jumper was to plant herself in Ford's lap. It was natural that she would gravitate towards Ford; he was one of the youngest members of the expedition after all. Like minds and all that. Sometimes John looked at him and thought, _God, he's still just a kid. He should be safe at home, getting married, having a life, not stuck out here with the rest of us._ Ford was a kid, and Allie was a kid, and they were both probably going to be killed by the Wraith, along with everyone else on this expedition. John shot Allie a glance out of the corner of his eye, watching as she pulled out the turkey from her sandwich. Instead of eating it, she put it to her face and started poking holes in it with her tongue.

"It's strange not pulling any G's," Ford spoke as he wrapped an arm around Allie's waist so that he could he shift her to one knee.

"Yeah. Kinda miss it. Although at this rate of acceleration, we'd be dead by now."

"Yeah?"

"Oh, yeah. Without inertial dampening we'd be hit by so many G's our eyes'd pop, the skin would pull away from our faces, our brains squished up to the back of our skulls and our internal organs would be crushed into these chairs."

"Ew!" Allie screeched, her eyes growing wide with each lurid description. "That's gross!"

"Yeah, really gross," John agreed. _Oops_ , he thought. He forgot he had to watch his mouth. He hoped he wouldn't give her any nightmares.

But Allie just leaned forward. "What about blood, Major Sheppard, tell me about blood!" And she said 'Major Sheppard' just like McKay, her mouth pulling down in a crooked frown. It was scary how much she looked like him.

"Oh, there'd be tons of blood. Blood everywhere," he assured her. God, he's probably fucking her up for the rest of her life now, but she didn't seem scared at all -- she looked positively thrilled by all the gore -- and this was the first time she was at all interested in John's presence. He found he kind of liked having her attention. "You can call me John if you want. Can you hand me a sandwich?"

"John," she agreed and then stuffed what was left of her turkey into her mouth, freeing her hand to reach into the sack. She held up a sandwich for him and John took it, patting the top of her head. The short, black hairs on her head bristled under his palm and she squirmed in Ford's lap to get away. "John!" She scolded and it reminded him so much of McKay, even though he had never heard the man call him by his first name.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set during Season 1, Episode 6: "Childhood's End"

" _McKay, this is Radek. There is an issue in one of the labs. We need your assistance._ "

Rodney jolted awake at the sound emanating from his headset that he'd left lying on a pillow next to his head. He briefly wondered why there was a tiny foot inches from his face before remembering. With a groan, Rodney pushed Alberta's leg off of him and reached down to pick up his watch that had been knocked off his bedside table to the floor. 3 hours. He had gotten 3 hours of sleep. 

That first week after Alberta's arrival, it had been agreed upon that she would sleep in Carson's quarters. Research on the "Babymaker" -- as Sheppard called it -- was slow-going and they had no idea if the Keratons' experiments on it would end up affecting her health or if the Ancients had included a built-in expiration date to keep the clones from growing out of control. So, it was decided that she would need constant medical supervision until they could better understand her physiology. It had been, in Rodney's humble opinion, a fantastic system. At the end of the day, he or one of his staff would drop her off at Carson's door and she'd be out of his hair for the next 12 hours or so. Carson had been delighted by it, saying something about how much she reminded him of his little sister. Apparently, Carson's parents had never heard of birth control because there were seven baby Becketts in all. Growing up with six siblings somehow hadn't traumatized him. One Jeannie was bad enough, just thinking about six Jeannies gave Rodney nightmares.

But four days ago, Carson arrived at his door in the middle of the night and dropped Alberta off with a small change of clothes and a wave before hightailing it. One of the teams had caught what was so charmingly being referred to as "Space Flu" on their last mission. Teyla said it wasn't any cause for worry, only ever dangerous to the very young and the elderly, but just because it resembled Earth flu didn't mean that the Earth people had an immunity to it. The men quickly took a turn for the worse and Carson was running around trying to keep them alive and stop it from spreading to the rest of the expedition. Which meant Alberta needed a new place to stay for the time being and with Halling and the other Athosians now living on the mainland...

That left Rodney.

It had been far too late that first night to bother setting up a cot, so he had let her sleep in his bed with a pillow wall between them in a futile attempt to get her to stay on her side. It was mathematically impossible for Alberta to take up more space than her body mass allowed, and yet, somehow, she did it. She was tiny! How she managed to push _him_ to the edge of the bed was beyond Rodney, but there she was: upside down and spread out like a damn starfish. And that was almost after an hour of trying to get her to fall asleep in the first place, in-between her excited bouncing and non-stop babbling.

The first thing Rodney had done the next day was retrieve her trundle bed from Carson's room and set it up in his own. But it was too late. There was no going back for Alberta. For the past three days, Rodney spent his nights trying to keep her from sneaking into his bed. Yelling didn't work, threats didn't work, not even pleading, which Rodney had been reduced to after the second day. He had started to develop a new theory that the only reason why Alberta insisted on doing this despite the fact that he was an all-around mean, unpleasant person was because the Babymaker had implanted some knowledge of psychological torture in her brain and she needed to get it out of her system somehow.

Rodney pulled himself from the bed with a muffled groan. Waking her up was the last thing he needed. He blindly groped for a fresh uniform and carried it into the bathroom to change into. When he came back out, he saw that Alberta had moved in her sleep. She was now lying face-down on the mattress without a pillow or blanket, her arms trapped beneath her chest. Just looking at her like that was enough to give Rodney a crick in his neck. With a sigh, he gently picked her up and moved her onto her back, pillow firmly beneath her head, before tucking the blanket around her. Thankfully, she didn't stir.

Dawn was still a few hours away when he left to track down Zelenka. Apparently, one of the trained monkeys the SGC had sent in place of actual scientists had tripped the security system while going through the Ancient database. It was now systematically shutting down and wiping every laptop, pad, and every other foreign device currently hooked up to a console. By the time Rodney had fixed it and was able to leave the lab, the morning sun was already shining brightly down on Atlantis.

There was a weariness inside him that was bone deep. All Rodney wanted was to sleep for the next week, completely free of any responsibility. He hadn't felt like this since grad school, and he'd been quite a bit younger then. He had never been so glad to reach his quarters. All he wanted was a little rest. Rodney opened the door and blinked dazedly at the scene in front of him. Apparently, Alberta had been busy in his absence.

The blankets and sheets had been stripped from his bed and tied to various pieces of furniture until she had managed to create fort that spanned almost the entire length of the room. It was pretty impressive, actually, but Rodney couldn't muster up enough feeling to care one way or the other about it. It was just one more thing added to the list. "Are you ready to get breakfast?" He called out instead.

Immediately he heard something scramble across his floor, even if he couldn't actually see her. Alberta popped out from beneath the tent, already dressed, and Rodney walked her to the mess hall, helped her carry a bowl of oatmeal to one of the tables, and sat down to eat with her. At least, that's what he assumed happened. It felt like his body was moving independently of his brain, because he only became aware of his surroundings when Sheppard and Teyla took a seat across from him.

"How's it going, McKay?" Sheppard asked. He had one of those self-satisfied smirks on his face that drove Rodney crazy. "You look a little tired. Allie's not too much for you, is she?"

Rodney knew exactly what Sheppard was trying to do. He wanted Rodney to admit that he was right, that it would have been better if they had let one of the Athosians adopt her. To be honest, Rodney had wondered that himself once or twice these past few days, but he'd be damned if he was going to admit it to Sheppard. "Need I remind you, Major, that you helped create this mess? Maybe if you helped out more, do something other than watch her during her sessions or take her out for the occasional joyride I wouldn't be so tired," Rodney snapped.

"Jesus, stop acting like I knocked you up on prom night, McKay," Sheppard hissed. "You're the one who chose to do this."

"Perhaps now isn't the best time for this discussion," Teyla stated pointedly, but Alberta didn't seem to be paying them any attention. She was too busy licking the inside of her bowl. Teyla smiled indulgently down at her and reached over to fix the buttons on her cardigan.

Sheppard quickly finished his own breakfast and stood up, patting Alberta on the head, who was quick to stick her tongue out at him. "You ready to go see Dr. Heightmeyer?" He asked.

"Yeah!"

"Let's go then." Sheppard picked up both their trays and guided her out of the mess.

Rodney turned back to his oatmeal, ready to wolf down what was left and head back to the labs, when he realized Teyla was still there. It was a little surprising; they were on the same team, yes, but they weren't exactly close. She was friends with Sheppard. Rodney figured she would leave when he did. She didn't have any other reason to stay.

"Are you alright, Doctor?" Teyla asked.

"It'll get easier when the flu panic passes and Carson can take her back in the evenings." He was touched that she cared.

"While I do not have any children of my own, I do understand how difficult it must be for you to take on this responsibility. When I was first elected to lead my people, I was... overwhelmed by the weight of it."

Rodney was quick to point out, "But she's not really my kid. I mean, yes, she is my child biologically, but I'm not really raising her. There's Carson, Heightmeyer, Ford... _You_. I'm just here to gather the data."

Teyla stared at him in confusion, her mouth pulling down in a frown. "I do not know what you mean. You do not think that just because myself and others have helped take care of her that it somehow... diminishes your own efforts? I have done the same for Jinto, Wex, or any of the other children, as does every adult Athosian."

"Yes, yes, I get it. It takes a village," Rodney huffed. The facts didn't change though. "It's done a little differently on Earth."

Teyla sat there, staring at him, not saying anything. Then she spoke, "I think I am beginning to understand you and Major Sheppard." She stood up. "Regardless of whatever reasons you claim to have, you are doing much to care for this girl. I think you're doing a good job."

* * *

John could feel his irritation beginning to mount as he followed McKay through the wilderness. The scientist's eyes remained glued to Ford's compass as he used it to track down whatever it was that was affecting this planet's magnetic field. He still wasn't sure if that was a good thing. It had been McKay's idea to fly towards the energy reading that caused them to crash in the first place.

In the distance, John could see the trees beginning to thin. Soon the thick canopy overhead became dappled with light as they stepped out into a field littered with the ruins of an ancient city. "Didn't fly over this, did we?" McKay asked.

"I don't know. I was kind of busy with the whole trying to not get us killed thing."

Teyla glanced around, taking in the sea of rubble. "These ruins are very old."

"Several hundred years at least, I'd say. Maybe more."

"So the population here is extinct?" Ford asked.

McKay ignored his question and stepped up to John, showing him the compass that was flicking like mad between the north and south points. John frowned, completely unsure of what to make of it. "Okay, I give up."

McKay was happy to provide an explanation. "Well, if the disturbance is man made as opposed to naturally occurring, it's probably emanating from within these ruins. Somewhere... over there..." He gestured with the compass towards a large thicket of underbrush and vines. The tops of several half-crumbled columns broke through the ever-invading green.

"So if we find it, can we shut it off?"

"It's worth a shot. If we can shut down the field, we won't have to walk back to the gate."

John shot McKay a glare. "I was thinking more of saving a perfectly good puddlejumper."

"That too."

John turned away, rolling his eyes as he walked past Teyla and Ford on his way back to the jumper. "Alright, guys, stay here for a second. Let's see if McKay can..." He didn't get more than a few steps when something small leapt out of the bushes. All John could see was the arrow pointed right at his throat and quickly reached down for his weapon, his other arm outstretched in front of his team as though he might be able to block anything from hurting them. He could hear the leaves rustling behind him and Ford drawing his own weapon. One look confirmed that they were surrounded.

Then he realized just who it was holding the bows.

"Kids, Ford," John hissed, nudging him in the arm, but Ford refused to drop his sidearm.

"Yeah, with weapons pointed at us," he answered back.

John glanced at each one of their assailants until his eyes finally fell on a little girl. Just a few years older than Allie and with big, blue eyes that stared up at him, hard and cold, as she pulled her bow taut. "Lower your weapon, Lieutenant!" John snapped, before flashing the children that surrounded them an easy grin. "Hey, kids."

The kids took them to see the village elders. And John used that term loosely, considering their "elders" were still at least ten years younger than him. While McKay and Ford went back to the ruins to investigate the device causing the energy disturbance and Teyla off making nice with the locals, John decided to take a little walk with Keras, one of the elders, to try and understand why an entire society would willingly commit ritual suicide at the age of 24. He stared at a young girl as they wandered through the village -- fourteen years old, maybe fifteen -- cooking dinner over a fire with a baby balanced on one hip. In a few short years, she'll be dead. The very thought made John's stomach churn.

"Do you have young?" Keras asked, following his line of gaze to the pair.

Startled out of his thoughts, John automatically shook his head. "Me? No. Well, sort of."

"'Sort of'?" Keras smiled. "I didn't realize the process was so complicated where you're from."

John had to laugh at that. "I have a... daughter, but I'm not the one raising her."

"Neither do I raise my young. We send them to other villages to be cared for."

"Other villages?"

"To keep bloodlines apart," Keras explained.

"Ah, I got it." John nodded his head. "How many villages are there like this?"

"Twelve. There are a few larger than this one, but small in number."

"And they all make the sacrifice?" John asked.

"Yes, we all do. As have the many before."

"No one's ever...?" John trailed off, hoping this question wouldn't cause Keras to close off and shut him out.

"What?" Keras pursued.

"Well, decide not to go through with it, takes off, runs away."

Keras smiled sadly. "There has been hesitation."

John let a laugh that was devoid of any humor. "Oh, I bet."

"We can be persuasive when the time comes."

It wasn't hard to understand what he meant by that. Anger filled him at those words. Something like this should have never happen. Here was an entire society where children led children, where children _had_ children. Where children killed children. "I know what that means. Look, I gotta tell you, I-I don't understand this at all. Where I come from we value life more than ... well, almost anything else. Lieutenant Ford-- he's just a year older than you. You know what he would have missed out on if his life was over a year ago?"

"Would you not give your life if it was necessary?" Keras demanded. "If it meant the safety of your daughter?"

"I would, but _this_ \-- what you're doing -- wouldn't save her. Not if it meant she had to die at 24 anyway."

"We're not all that different," Keras said. "It's just that ... I would rather have twenty four years of peace than a life of fear."

John couldn't accept that, not if there was a chance. "What if there's another way? Naturally when the time comes."

"The time comes," Keras replies. He looked up at the sky, at the songbirds flitting through the branches, so at peace with the world that it made John want to scream.

* * *

There hadn't been a battle, nothing more strenuous than a good hike and firing off a few shots at an ultimately harmless drone. And yet, John was tired and bone-weary. The mission to M7G-677 felt like it had drained him of all feeling. But they had managed to convince the kids to stop killing themselves and John would take his victories where he could get them. God, he couldn't stop thinking about how things could have gone differently if Allie had been born on that planet, what would have eventually happened to her.

John came to a stop in front of McKay's door and gave it a sharp rap with his knuckles. It was time they stopped avoiding the subject and actually talk about what they were going to do with Allie. Beyond testing her. She wasn't going to stay five forever; they needed to think about her future. What were they going to do if they managed to re-establish contact with Earth? Because if given the option, that's where John wanted to send her. Not to live with his family, no, but somewhere on Earth where she would be safe and could live a normal life.

McKay didn't answer. John knocked again, only to be met with more silence. That was strange; he knew McKay was in there. Why wasn't he answering? A spike of worry shot through his heart and before he could stop himself John reached out to touch the door. He pressed his fingers against the smooth surface and imagined it opening in front of him. Almost immediately, he felt the air fly past his face as the door slid away and let him step inside.

Through the mess that Allie had made, it was easy to spot McKay. He was sitting at his desk, his head resting on one arm, the other still stretched out towards his laptop, and snoring softly. John couldn't help but smile at the sight. For once, Rodney looked... peaceful.

"The Wraith are coming up the hill," a little voice whispered from underneath the blanket fort. "We're going to have to outflank them."

 _Outflank?_ , John thought. Where would a five year old learn a word like that? "Allie, come on out of there. I need to speak to you."

Allie peered at him from beneath the blanket, as if debating whether or not she was really going to do what he asked, before crawling out and heaving a sigh as she stood before him. In one hand she held an Athosian ragdoll that Teyla had given her and in the other a Batman action figure that had been donated by one of the scientists. She was clearly unhappy at having her game interrupted. "Get some of your things," John said. "You'll be staying with me tonight. Let Rodney have a much needed nap."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set during Season 1, Episode 10: "The Storm"
> 
> John and Rodney start working on their friendship! Yay! And then they fuck it up! Boo!

John and McKay sat on a piece of driftwood, watching from a distance as Allie tried to keep up with Jinto and Wex. They raced barefoot along the beach, playing what had been a game of tag until it devolved into them just simply running up and hitting each other on the shoulder before sprinting away. John heard Jinto cry out, "Ow! Hey!"

"Not so hard!" John warned, but Allie ignored him and continued running, her laughter loud and bright as she stuck her tongue out at the other boy. Jinto scrunched up his face like he was trying not to cry, but he ran after her just the same.

"So, you've had time to examine her," John drawled out as he continued to watch her play. "Has she unlocked the secrets of the Ancients yet?"

McKay tipped his chin up, his mouth pulling down in a way that John was beginning to recognize. It was the same expression McKay always made when he thought someone was questioning him and he needed to prove his intelligence. "There is information locked away inside her brain, we just haven't been able to figure out how to access it yet. I doubt Alberta even realizes what she knows. She was able to correctly guess the purpose of each Ancient device we put before her 10% of the time-- which, granted, doesn't sound very accurate, but when she does get it right she is amazingly specific. Too specific for it to be a coincidence."

"But still not accurate enough for me to take her seriously," John pointed out. "When Zelenka asked her to guess what a ZPM is used for, she told him it was a lamp."

"Well, she's not exactly wrong. It certainly puts out enough light." McKay folded his arms, still refusing to give John even an inch. "She is capable of advanced mathematics -- far beyond what the average college student would be studying -- but she has no understanding of the principles behind it. Stick an equation in front of her and she can solve it, but give her a word problem and she's just like any other five year old. She's like a calculator; she can't actually apply the math she's doing and use it to solve real world problems."

"We have plenty of calculators."

"That's not the point, Major. This wasn't something she learned, this was something she already _knew_. It was downloaded into her. There could be a lot more there."

"But whatever is there isn't enough of a reason for us to keep testing her. It's been months. Whatever is locked away in her brain is probably going to stay locked away, if she doesn't end up forgetting it. If she was capable of more we would know about it by now. Face it, we're not going to get anything useful from her so we might as well give her the best life we can."

For a few minutes, McKay said nothing and John let the sound of the waves and Allie's laughter wash over him. And then he spoke, "Fine. We'll stop the testing."

If John were a lesser man he'd be gloating right now. Instead, he settled for smiling smugly back at McKay, who just rolled his eyes at the sight. "What do we do with her then?" McKay asked.

"If it's possible, we should send her to Earth. It'll be better for her there."

"And who will take care of her? Or are you just planning to dump her in the foster care system and hope for the best?"

John looked away. He hoped he managed to keep the grimace off his face. "I was... kind of hoping you might have family she can stay with."

"I have a sister who I haven't spoken to in years. She married some English major. I think he's a teacher now. She already has a daughter and they're living off his not considerable salary. I don't think she'll appreciate me showing up after four years of ignoring each other's existence just to drop off some kid for her to take care of." McKay looked at him and demanded, "What about you? You have family."

John turned away, "No."

McKay blinked, trying to comprehend what he meant by that. "No? That's it? Just... 'no'?"

"No."

"Good talk," McKay huffed, his eyes shifting from John's face to stare out towards the ocean.

John groaned silently. Intellectually he knew he would need to open up more with McKay if they wanted to make this work, but every cell in his being was screaming at him to keep it hidden, to keep himself safe. "Look, my father... can be very controlling. You either did things his way, or... well, there was no 'or'. You did what he said, period. I refused to go along with his grand plan, so as far as he's concerned I no longer exist. Even if he did accept Allie as his granddaughter -- which I doubt he would -- I would never let him raise her."

For a few minutes McKay was silent and slowly John felt the tension that had twisted into his shoulders loosen. Then, "If she goes to Earth, she's going to need a last name. Alberta McKay has a nice ring to it."

John couldn't help but laugh at that, grateful that McKay didn't press the issue of his father. "You already got to pick her first name. I think it's only fair that she be a Sheppard."

"If I have to humiliate myself by crawling to Jeannie and begging her to take in our unplanned science spawn, then she should have my last name." McKay smiled crookedly at him, but it wasn't the same arrogant smirk that John was used to seeing. He kind of liked this smile. It was nice, and McKay was surprisingly good company when he wasn't being an asshole.

"What if we hyphenate? Sheppard-McKay."

"Shouldn't it be McKay-Sheppard? That way it's alphabetical."

"No, because I outrank you, so my name should go first."

"Technically you don't, I'm a civi--"

A scream shattered the lazy peacefulness that had fallen over them. John was up and running the second he heard it, his hand already reaching for his sidearm as he scanned the sand dunes. Where were the kids? Oh, God, he didn't see them. He didn't think-- They couldn't have taken their eyes off of them for more than five minutes! How could they have just disappeared so quickly? He could hear McKay struggling to keep up behind him, but John pressed on. Faster, faster.

He charged over a dune and stopped short to see Jinto and Allie wrestling on the ground, with Wex standing above them and pulling on Allie in an attempt to pry her off of his friend. Allie had somehow managed to get him in a basic hold, his arm locked between her legs so that her feet were pushing into his face like some tiny spider monkey. Allie pulled back on Jinto's arm until his hand was by her head, making him squeal in pain, and she quickly leaned down to bite into the fleshy part of his forearm.

"Let go of him! Right now!" John snapped as he raced down towards them. Allie ignored him and only bit down harder. John grasped hold of her little arms as Jinto wailed, trying to figure out a way to pull Allie off without accidentally hurting her in the process. He could easily end up breaking her arm if he used too much force, but Allie was refusing to budge and he needed to get her off of him _now_.

"Oh my God! ALBERTA!"

At the sound of McKay's voice, Allie let go of Jinto. Seizing his chance, John picked her up by her torso and quickly dragged her away as she thrashed against him. While he wrestled with Allie, McKay went over to check on Jinto. John could see tiny pinpricks of blood welling up and running down his arm in tiny rivers from where Allie had broken his skin. "His arm's not broken and I don't think he'll need stitches," McKay announced, grimacing as he gently turned the boy's arm to get a better look. "Probably needs a disinfectant though, with all the things Alberta likes to stick in her mouth."

"Good, now will someone tell me what the hell happened?" John demanded as he struggled to keep a grip on Allie.

Wex spoke up. "We were just playing until Allie hit Jinto really hard, so he hit her back. They started fighting."

McKay snapped his head around to glare at Allie. His face was turning a bright shade of red. John had thought he had seen McKay angry before, but now he realized that was just McKay being McKay. _This_ was McKay angry. "What were you thinking?! Why did you do this?!"

Immediately Allie burst into tears, her whole body going limp. "Shit!" John swore as she slipped through his hands to fall face first into the sand. Allie didn't seem to notice as she continued to scream and wail, her entire body shaking with the force of her meltdown. John quickly backed away from her, bewildered and unsure of what he should do. "McKay, take her to the jumper. I'll see the boys back to Halling and collect Teyla."

McKay turned his glare onto him and for a moment John thought he would start screaming at him like he did with his scientists, but McKay said nothing. He simply walked over to Allie and picked her up, struggling for a moment under her weight. She remained limp, arms and legs everywhere, which did little to help McKay. Allie's voice was already growing hoarse from her cries, but she continued until she was struggling to breathe between the snot and the coughing fits.

The ride back to Atlantis was cold and hostile. Allie, who had eventually tired herself out to the point that she finally just fell asleep out of sheer exhaustion, was in the back with her head pillowed in Teyla's lap. The Athosian woman was doing her very best to ignore the argument brewing between John and McKay up front.

"This is what I was talking about when I said she could be dangerous," McKay hissed, jabbing his finger at John and he had to grit his teeth to keep himself from slapping his hand away. "She could have seriously hurt him!"

"Look, maybe _you_ didn't have a lot of friends growing up, but kids roughhouse. They get hurt. That's what they do." John saw a brief look of hurt flash across McKay's face and he had to turn away. It reminded him too much of Allie. "I gave my best friend a concussion when we were eight because we thought it would be fun to sword fight with a couple of tree branches."

"You can't just keep pretending she's a normal little girl when she's not!" McKay snapped. "Jinto is almost six years older than her and a lot bigger, and she managed to pin him down in some kind of wrestling move! She's five years old and--"

"She is _not_ five years old," John insisted. "She is _two months old_ with the body of a five year old. Five year olds aren't exactly the most emotionally stable or rational of people, couple that with the fact that she has only two months worth of memories and social interaction? Of course she's going to fuck up."

McKay nodded. "You're right. She's two months old and she already speaks two languages, can solve advanced mathematical equations, _and knows how to fight_. We don't know what else she's capable of."

"What? You think she's going to go off on some rampage? She weighs 40 pounds and is barely 3 feet tall. Look, she's never made a mistake like this before, never been punished, has never had to deal with the consequences of her actions. This is a learning experience for her. She needs to be punished, she needs to learn that actions have repercussions."

McKay folded his arms. "Alright, how do we punish her then?"

John froze, caught off guard by the question. It had never occurred to him that he would be a part of this 'learning experience'. He figured McKay and Carson and Teyla would come up with something suitable. Not him. "I don't know. Whatever you think is best."

"Of course," McKay sneered and turned to look out at the ocean in front of them. The rest of the flight was silent.

* * *

Kate stepped into Rodney's quarters as he was attempting to tie the laces on his boots with one hand, the other occupied with adjusting his headset. "So, what? It's a storm. A little rain is hardly cause for a meet-- Oh."

"Is everything alright?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, yeah." Rodney waved her off without bothering to look at her. "Thanks for coming, make sure she finishes that." He pointed down to where Allie was lying on the floor, clutching a pencil in her tiny fist as she carefully spelled out words on the paper in front of her. Then Rodney was gone, striding from his room without a second glance.

Kate smiled down at the girl, but Allie's gaze remained locked on her paper, her scowl only deepening as the psychologist settled in. _I will not hurt other people_ was scrawled across the page. Although her handwriting was sloppy and uncoordinated, Kate was really quite impressed with Allie's reading and spelling abilities. She was learning at a phenomenal rate.

"How are you feeling?" Kate asked as she moved to sit on Rodney's bed. "We haven't had a chance to talk since your fight with Jinto. Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Allie continued to deliberately ignore her; she remained fixated on her work. Kate sighed. Her specialty was PTSD. She didn't have much experience working with children, especially not one with such an unusual background. "Allie, I asked you a question. It's impolite to ignore people."

"I'm fine!" She screamed and threw her pencil down with a frustrated yell. It cracked upon impact, which only made Allie angrier. Kate leapt up as Allie's rage boiled over and with one quick movement the girl had grabbed the sheet of paper she had been working on and tore it to shreds.

"Hey, stop that, right now." Kate reached out to still Allie's hands, clasping her tightly clenched fists in a gentle embrace. "You have to calm down. I think you need a time out."

Allie wrenched her arms away and stomped towards the time-out stool she and Rodney had set up. Kate could see angry tears beginning to well up in the corner of her eyes. What was going on? It was clear something had upset Allie greatly. Was she angry about being punished? Was it simply that she was too young and inexperienced to properly understand the emotions she was feeling? It must be overwhelming for her. Kate really needed to speak to Rodney and Carson about this.

It was four hours later before Rodney bothered to return. He had told her that she would only have to watch Allie for about thirty minutes, that Elizabeth had wanted to speak to him about something and that he'd be back soon.

He burst into the room and Kate pulled herself up from where she had been coloring with Allie to inform him that she did have actual _work_ that she needed to do, but Rodney ignored her. Instead, he reached down to pick up a black backpack that had been lying on the floor and started shoving a few of Allie's clothes and toys inside. "There's a hurricane on its way so we're evacuating the city. It'll be for just a day, two at most."

Kate folded her arms. The backpack was stuffed near to bursting and Rodney struggled with getting it closed. "That's an awful lot of clothes for just two days."

"Just in case," he said. "It's... it's a pretty big storm, but, uh, I've come up with a plan. There's at least an 80% chance it'll work. I'll be staying behind, so I need you to keep an eye on Alberta. At least until Carson, Teyla, and Ford return from the mainland."

Allie was at Rodney's side in a flash, clinging to his pant leg. "I want to stay here with you!"

"Well, you can't do that. Let go, I've got to go back to work."

Rodney disentangled himself from Allie's vice grip and quickly left the room, his mind too fixated on the problem at hand to see the way Allie's face crumbled as he walked away. Kate knelt beside her and reached out to gently take her hand. "Come on, sweetheart," she soothed. "Let's go ge--"

"No!" Allie pushed her away and before Kate realized what was happening, the little girl was out the door and barreling her way down the hall.

* * *

Rodney had only just stepped into the lab, ready to fire off orders, when he felt something the size of a dog launch itself into the back of his knees. It clutched at his legs and Rodney had to brace himself on a nearby table to keep from falling on his face.

He turned to look and saw Alberta hanging onto him, the fabric of his pants bunched up in her little fists and her face buried into his leg. She was crying open-mouthed against him, breathing harshly as snot ran down her face and soaked his trousers. "I don't want to go! Please don't make me go! I'm sorry! Don't be mad at me! I'm sorry!"

The words hit Rodney like a stone, sinking and twisting his insides as he tried to understand what was going on. He twisted in her grip, crouching down so he could pry her hands off of him. "I'm not mad at you. It's for your own safety--"

"No! I'll be good! Don't make me go!" And then, like a puppet whose strings had been cut, Alberta dropped face-first onto the floor and sobbed, much like she had on the beach. Rodney glanced helplessly about the lab, looking for someone who knew what to do. Most of the scientists were gazing pointedly at the work, unwilling to get roped into this family drama. Zelenka was slowly inching away from Rodney, his eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights.

Alberta started gagging then. Rodney quickly scooped her up and made a dash towards the nearest bathroom before she ended up vomiting from the force of her cries. When he heard her retch and felt something warm and wet slide down his back, he knew he hadn't made it in time. He wasn't even really angry that she had thrown up on him, just... bewildered by everything. He didn't know what he had done to make her react like this. Alberta clung harder to him, her arms tightening around his neck, as she slowly quieted, calmer now that she was in his arms. He hoped she didn't feel him shaking. It hit him all at once, the realization that this kid _loved_ him and he had no idea what he was supposed to do about that.


End file.
